Did you know that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month?
I found this snippet from october15th.com:
In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When a parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.”
This is so true. There is no word to describe us. Does that make our loss less valid? No. It makes us harder to identify with.
Tonight at 7pm, people are lighting candles to remember the little ones lost. At 7 pm I will be praying. For healing. For my friends. For strangers. For hope. For my little one up in Heaven.
How many tears have I cried? What would you have been like? Would you have looked like me? Or like Jeremy? Would you have loved sports like him? Or books like me?
Sometimes I feel guilty for “dwelling” on my first pregnancy. Avery wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t had the miscarriage. I wouldn’t have known her. But it still doesn’t take the pain away from the first loss. Should I feel bad for not remembering everyday? Still so many questions and what ifs.