I’ve started a few different drafts of this post. Hoping this is the keeper!!
Fat. Fat. FAT.
Did you get uncomfortable or prickly? I used to. But here’s the confession: I’m a fat person. A fat person who used to loathe the word “fat.” I preferred “plus sized” or “curvy.” I still like curvy. I am curvy. And fat. I really don’t like “plus sized” anymore. Because I’m sized. You are sized. We all have a size. Mine is a larger number than most of my friends, but that’s cool. I’m slowly and enthusiastically learning to love my size. My fat.
So. How did I get here? Earlier this year I got tired of hating myself. Hating how I exercise and my body doesn’t change. Hating how I look in all my clothes. Hating that I might be setting a bad example to my daughters about their own self-worth. So I literally said, “Fuck it.” I’m done. Flipping the switch and not caring. Or start caring. Depending on the issue.
I started buying clothes that fit better and that I liked wearing. Took a page from Beth’s book, and started trying to put cute outfits together.
You guys, I BOUGHT A BIKINI. And I love it so much and I feel so cute in it. Is there anything better? I think not.
And I realized that I have no reason to be ashamed of my physical accomplishments. I go to the gym. I do yoga.
I hike up freaking mountains. Okay. Not technically mountains. But they feel like it.
I’ve done two indoor triathlons. And I’m doing a super sprint triathlon in a couple short weeks. I’m a little sick thinking about it. BUT I’M GOING TO DO IT DAMMIT.
I really have the internet and social media to thank for my epiphany. Bloggers like Cat (Cat Inspired) and Amanda (My Bella Moxie) have shown me how beautiful all bodies can be. How emotional it can be loving your body. But so important. And how to be fashionable. When I choose to be.
And they have made me braver. I walked in a fashion show. I’m scared of people looking at me. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone and gone to events solo. I’ve been happier. More confident. Truly the best version of myself that I’ve ever been. So thank you so much for starting my journey as a happy, fat woman. I love you forever for it.
Go here to read another post I wrote about a different “F-word.”